FixedIt: domestic violence is not romantic

That we expect this kind of tripe from The Mirror does not make it ok.

On average, two women every week are murdered in domestic violence homicides in England and Wales. Domestic violence will affect 1 in 4 women in the UK at some point in their life. It is a deadly serious and widespread problem. The media has a significant role to play in changing public attitude to men’s violence against women and children.

Headlines like this are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Intimate partner violence has nothing to do with romance or rejection. It’s a choice made by the perpetrator based on their need for power and control, and the underlying belief that anything they do to maintain control over a woman they see as a possession is justified and excused by her actions.

When journalists make implicit excuses for violent men by blaming victims they are confirming those beliefs. They are colluding with violent men in excusing their violence and blaming their victims.

Andrei Pavel is not a “spurned lover”, he’s a violent man who chose to stalk and assault his ex-girlfriend. He was convicted of assault and ordered to stay away from his victim for 12 months.

He didn’t punch her because she rejected him, he punched her because he decided he had the right to assault a woman who refused to do what he wanted her to do.

Nothing a victim does is the cause of violence committed against them, there is only one thing that causes violence and that is the choice to do it.

Reporting this any other way is not journalism, it’s a dangerous deception.

FixedIt is an ongoing project to push back against the media’s constant erasure of violent men and blaming of innocent victims. If you would like to help fund it – even $5 a month makes a big difference – please consider becoming a Patron


UK HELPLINE

National Domestic Violence
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Freephone Helpline: 0808 2000 247
www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk

AUSTRALIAN HELPLINES

1800 RESPECT
Sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling and support.
24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 
Ph: 1800 737 732
www.1800respect.org.au 

Suicide Call Back Service
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Ph: 1300 659 467
www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au

Kids Helpline
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Phone: 1800 55 1800
www.kidshelp.com.au

MensLine Australia
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Phone: 1300 78 99 78
www.mensline.org.au

Child Wise National Abuse Helpline
Mon-Fri: 9 am – 5 pm
Ph: 1800 99 10 99
www.childwise.org.au