“Tinder date” is the new “what was she wearing?”
If a man and a woman meet online and the man later (allegedly) rapes the woman, you can guarantee that Tinder will be the key word in the headline about the (alleged) rape.
The man in this case has been charged but has not gone to trial. He has pleaded not guilty. He is entitled to the presumption of innocence. This post is not about the specifics of this case. It’s general commentary about the way rape is erased and minimised in media reporting on sexual violence.
Men who rape usually rape a woman they know and often she’s someone they claim to love.
There’s a reason you don’t see that in headlines – those rapes almost never make the news.
Even when intimate partner rape goes to court, it rarely makes news.
“Tinder rape” always makes news. Why?
When a woman looks for men to date on Tinder, she is not waiting passively for a man to choose her.
She’s taking active control of her dating and sexual life.
If he met her at a bookshop and later chose to rape her, the bookshop wouldn’t make the headlines.
Tinder always makes rape headlines.
Men chose to rape women before Tinder was released.
Men might use Tinder to search for women to rape – and Tinder doesn’t make that difficult – but Tinder doesn’t cause rape.
Also, this might well be news to The Herald Sun, but a woman is more than just a man’s “date”. She’s a person. Defined by so much more than her connection to the man who (allegedly) chose to rape her.
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