The Daily Telegraph is just one of many publications that refer to Paul Lambert’s vicious assault and attempted murder of Angela Jay as the “Tinder stabbing”.

Lambert broke into Angela Jay’s home, waited for her to come in, then he stabbed her repeatedly and soaked her in petrol. Police believe he intended to rape her, murder her and burn down her house.

Before the attack Angela Jay had taken out an AVO against him because he was stalking her, threatening her life and she was quite justifiably scared of him.

All of these facts are relevant to her story, how she met him is not.

It wasn’t an app that hid in her cupboard and tried to kill her, it was a man. A savagely violent man who believed he was entitled to end a woman’s life because she chose to live that life without him.

Dubbing it the “Tinder stabbing” renders him invisible and subtly blames the victim, she was on Tinder (as millions of people are) hoping to meet someone (again, as most of us are) and have some fun (which she was entirely right to do).

Women are never to blame for the violence men do to them. A woman looking for sex, a relationship or just a bit of fun is not asking for a man to stalk or attack her, and women should not be shamed or frightened into thinking it is their fault when men are violent.

There is only one thing that causes men’s violence – men’s choice to commit violence.

FixedIt is an ongoing project to push back against the media’s constant erasure of violent men and blaming of innocent victims. If you would like to help fund it – even $5 a month makes a big difference – please consider becoming a Patron

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Books by Jane Gilmore

Fairy Tale Princesses Will Kill Your Children

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