Fixed It: sexual abuse and grooming isn’t “sex with”

More confusion between “sex” and “sexual abuse”. Sex can only happen with consent. A 14 year old child cannot consent to sex with a man in his 40s. Sex without consent is rape.

I’ve said it too many times before, but even if there’s legal ambiguity in calling a rapist a rapist because there’s no conviction for rape, it’s still not “having sex with”, which implies a mutual decision. It’s criminal sexual abuse.

Also, WTF does KFC have to do with it? Why is that more important to include in a headline than the fact that an adult, a teacher with a moral and legal duty of care to his student, groomed a child for sexual abuse?

This confusion between a free, informed, mutual and consensual decision to have sex and an adult man’s choice to sexually abuse a child is revoltingly persistent. This headline from News.com.au is only the most recent example of a fundamental misunderstanding of consent and sex that permeates so much reporting on this vile and traumatic crime.

(If you’re reading this on social media, links are in the OP at www.patreon.com/JaneGilmore )

FixedIt is an ongoing project to push back against the media’s constant erasure of violent men and blaming of innocent victims. If you would like to help fund it – even $5 a month makes a big difference – please consider becoming a Patron

If you would like to know more about how and why the media’s erasure of men’s violence against women occurs, the Fixed It book is out now!

Buy your copy here or at any good bookstore. Extracts available on why Fixed It started inThe Guardian, rape and other violence myths in The Age/Sydney Morning Herald and the Good Guy trope on my website.

1800 RESPECT
Sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling and support.24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 
Ph: 1800 737 732
www.1800respect.org.au 

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9am – 9pm, Monday to Friday
Ph: 1800 105 303
djirra.org.au 

Suicide Call Back Service
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Kids Helpline
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Phone: 1800 55 1800
www.kidshelp.com.au

MensLine Australia
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Phone: 1300 78 99 78
www.mensline.org.au

Men’s Referral Service
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Ph: 1300 766 491
www.ntv.org.au/get-help