Fixed It: Violent man is not the victim

November 2, 2020by Jane Gilmore

The Dandenong Leader (published by the Herald Sun) reported that a man was given a 12 month bond, fined $1000 and ordered to attend a men’s behaviour change group after he punched a woman in the head six times, hit her “lightly” (?!) with a chair and threw a beer bottle at her. 

Apparently this was his “darkest day”.

No mention of what it was like for her.

Apparently he had struggled for years to be “happy” with his wife.

I wonder what her struggle was?

Apparently he “just snapped”. Ah, that old chestnut. It’s amazing how many men “just snap“. Maybe it’s something to do with their hormones

Apparently it “nearly cost him his liberty”.

The consequences of his own choices were (nearly) terrible for him, but we don’t know what the consequences were for her. That didn’t get a mention. Perhaps they didn’t think it was relevant. 

The man admitted his crime and accepted that he acted “appallingly”. The judge called it an “unforgivable act”.

It’s quite astounding that even on the rare occasions that a perpetrator takes responsibility for his actions, some journalists still won’t see it. He’s just a good bloke, who tried really hard and then just snapped. 


(If you’re reading this on social media, links are in the OP at )

FixedIt is an ongoing project to push back against the media’s constant erasure of violent men and blaming of innocent victims. If you would like to help fund it – even $5 a month makes a big difference – please consider becoming a Patron

If you would like to know more about how and why the media’s erasure of men’s violence against women occurs, the Fixed It book is out now!

Buy your copy here or at any good bookstore. Extracts available on why Fixed It started inThe Guardian, rape and other violence myths in The Age/Sydney Morning Herald and the Good Guy trope on my website.

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