FixedIt: what other kind of stabbing is there but an unprovoked one?

May 26, 2020by Jane Gilmore

Once again: If a man and a woman meet on Tinder and the man is violent to the women, you can count on the word “Tinder” making it into every headline about his violence. 

It’s an insidious form of victim blaming. If they met at a party or over cabbages in Coles, it wouldn’t even rate a mention in the article, let alone the headline.

But Tinder is always relevant to the erasure of men’s violence against women because violence is the expected punishment for women who actively and confidently pursue sex, thus she is a “tinder date” not a woman or a person. 

Men are never punished for wanting sex.

“Tinder date” implies that if she had waited passively and accepted advances only from a man with the neon “good guy” stamp on his forehead, the violence would never have happened.

Tinder is not the problem. The dead woman is not the problem. The man who chose to kill this woman is the only problem. 

Also, “unprovoked” stabbing? Ok, it’s a quote from police but that just means police and media are both ascribing to the idea there can be any other kind of stabbing. Unless you are threatening lethal violence against him or someone else, there is no such thing as a “provoked” stabbing, so why did they need to qualify this one as “unprovoked”?

FixedIt is an ongoing project to push back against the media’s constant erasure of violent men and blaming of innocent victims. If you would like to help fund it – even $5 a month makes a big difference – please consider becoming a Patron

Sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling and support.24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 
Ph: 1800 737 732 

Djirra – Aboriginal Family Violence Response & Support Service
9am – 9pm, Monday to Friday
Ph: 1800 105 303 

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Ph: 1300 659 467

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Phone: 1800 55 1800

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Phone: 1300 78 99 78

© Jane Gilmore 2014