Fantasy, according to the Oxford English dictionary, is “the faculty or activity of imagining impossible or improbable things”.

Threatening to kill a woman, breaching an AVO, breaking into her house with zip ties, fuel for arson and a knife is not “fantasy”, it’s a well-planned and deliberate attempt to commit rape and murder.

Also, he was not the “Tinder Attacker”, he had a history of stalking and violence against women, Tinder may have been how he met the poor woman he subjected to such a horrific ordeal, but the incentive, the choice and the plan were all his. Had he met her at a music festival, a bookshop or a church, the outcome (if not the reporting) would have been the same.

If you think this sounds like petty quibbling, look back over all the other headlines about men’s violence against women in this blog and notice how often such violence is implicitly romanticised, erased or excused. Language matters, even the subtleties define a much larger reality.

(image from the Courier Mail, shared by Real for Women)

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