FixedIt: women are not to blame for men’s poor choices

October 3, 2017by Jane Gilmore

NME ran an article yesterday about James Arthur’s autobiography, Back To The Boy, under a headline that implies his girlfriend’s decision to end their relationship caused him to become addicted to sex.

He’s quoted as saying, “I started bingeing on sex. I became as addicted to sex as I was to weed. I craved sex, I had to have it and I needed it to fill the void and make myself feel better.”

It’s difficult to tell from the article whether he blames the woman for what happened to him but given the book is supposed to be about his battles with addiction and mental illness and how he overcame them, it seems unlikely.

“I was struggling for survival every day and I didn’t even feel like myself. Under my skin, I was still the same frightened, fearful little boy I’d always been.” Doesn’t sound like the words of a person who thinks someone else is responsible for his own actions and choices, does it?

So why run a headline that blames a woman for a man’s choices? Habit? Tradition? Laziness? Thoughtlessness? This is how it’s always been done so this is how it always will be done?

No one, not even a woman, can cause addition in someone else.

FixedIt is an ongoing project to push back against the media’s constant erasure of violent men and blaming of innocent victims. If you would like to help fund it – even $5 a month makes a big difference – please consider becoming a Patron


AUSTRALIAN HELPLINES

Alcohol and Drug Foundation
Ph: 1300 85 85 84
https://adf.org.au/help-support/

1800 RESPECT
Sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling and support.
24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 
Ph: 1800 737 732
www.1800respect.org.au 

Suicide Call Back Service
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Ph: 1300 659 467
www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au

Kids Helpline
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Phone: 1800 55 1800
www.kidshelp.com.au

MensLine Australia
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Phone: 1300 78 99 78
www.mensline.org.au

Child Wise National Abuse Helpline
Mon-Fri: 9 am – 5 pm
Ph: 1800 99 10 99
www.childwise.org.au

 

© Jane Gilmore 2014