Macnamara is an inner south east Melbourne electorate, which includes St Kilda and Elwood (suburbs notable for their high number of single women, according to the 2016 census and the Herald Sun’s bewildered musings about how we’re all going to find husbands).

The ABC lists it as a safe Labor seat (held by 4.9 in 2019) which is probably true, although Steph Hodgins-May (Greens) is a familiar and well liked candidates who might give “that nice boy” Josh Burns (ALP) a close run.

We don’t have a Teal independent, but we do have John B Myers running once again as an independent. He’s a doctor who lost his medical license for “sexual misconduct and boundary violations with a deeply vulnerable patient” and drew the top spot on the ballot this time, so that’s fun.

Liberal Candidate Colleen Harkin hasn’t been seen much since a candidates forum where she responded to a question about men’s violence against women with a statement about women being bullies, said talking to children about a climate emergency was “abuse”, and defended transphobia from Morrison’s stalking horse, Katherine Deves.

The good and wise burghers of Macnamara in their own words

An entirely unscientific vox pop of people who happen to be standing next to me over the last few days at various shops and a petrol station in St Kilda shows exactly what people I chose to approach are willing to say about who they’re going to vote for:

“Oh, god. Don’t talk to me about politics. What a waste of time.”

“Greens. Definitely. The Greens are the only ones who will close down all the power stations.”

“They’re all fucked. I’m not going to vote for any of them.”

“Morrison is a bastard. But that other bloke, whatshisname, he’s just a bastard we don’t know yet.”

“Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“I’ll probably vote for Morrison. I don’t like him, but he did ok with Covid and it’s not like it makes a difference.”

“Definitely voting Labor. Always have. Josh Burns is a nice boy. That Danby nonce was a bit tough to take but it’s much easier to stick with Labor since they put Josh in.” [REACTED: long and wonderfully scurrilous gossip about ex-Labor member for Macnamara, Michael Danby]

“I have no idea. Get out of my way.”

“I’ll probably vote informal. There’s not one of them deserves a vote.”

“It’s awful. I don’t know. You can’t trust Morrison, but you can’t trust Labor either. And the Greens can’t govern, so what do you do?”

“Do you work for Scott Morrison? You look like a smart lady, surely you can do better than that, love.”

“If there was someone I thought would do something about climate change or the cost of houses or the bloody awful health system, I’d give ‘em my vote in a heartbeat. But none of them will.”

“Everything is so bad right now. Fire. Floods. War. Pandemic. Really, really, serious things. And all the politicians do is just keep farting on about the stupid stuff. It makes me sick.”

Total Labor: 17

Total Liberal: 9

Total Greens: 12

Don’t know/sod off: 27

New book coming out in October!

Fairy Tale Princesses Will Kill Your Children

SIGN UP to receive updates about upcoming release and preorders.

I have an overflowing inbox too, so I promise I won't spam you. You'll only receive updates about books and related events.